How To Ask A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend – Strategies for Minimizing Your Chances of Being Rejected

There comes a time in the life of every person when they have to express how they feel to someone else. This is usually a very dicey period, filled with anxiety and pressure; from not knowing what to say, how to say it, when to say it or even where to say it. Most of the anxiety and worry comes from the fear of being turned down or told “No!”. The fear of rejection is the sole reason why a lot of people are unable to express their feelings, and this is often a result of not knowing how best to pop the “will you be my girlfriend” question. Just in case you are one of those who do not know how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, this article is the complete guide.

In order to minimize your chances of being rejected, there are several factors you need to consider; these include the right words to use, the right place, and the right time. We have put together this guide on how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, and by the time you are done reading this article, you will not be getting a NO for an answer when next you ask a lady out.

How To Know If She Wants A Relationship

image source

Before you set out to worry yourself about how you can ask her to be your girlfriend, you have to be certain she wants to be in a relationship, especially in a relationship with you. Not every lady wants to be in a relationship for personal reasons, so the first step to minimizing rejection is to ensure that she wants a relationship with you. So how do you ask or know if she wants a relationship? Here are some ways.

Watch her body language

A lady may not tell you she wants a relationship, she may never say it, but her body language will speak for her. Does she laugh at your jokes? Enjoys spending time talking with you? She replies to your texts as soon as she gets them? Does she remind you about upcoming events you both can attend together? Does she usually make physical contact with you? Touching your hands? Holding your elbows? Leaning towards you? Do you catch her stealing glances at you? Does she buy you little gifts, asks you if have eaten? Inquires about your well-being? Well, she is ready for a relationship. But if she’s irritated by the mere sight of you, it might be better to stay away.

She introduces you to her friends and family members and wants to meet yours

When a lady is ready for a relationship and wants it with you, she will not have a problem introducing you to her friends and family, and people she considers important. Also, in addition to introducing you to her friends and family, she asks about yours, telling you how she wants to meet them, she might be ready for a relationship.

You get invited to her family events

No lady takes a guy she doesn’t want a relationship with to family events. So, if she’s comfortable inviting you to family events, she is ready.

Asks you a lot of questions

If she constantly asks you questions about yourself, things like if you have a girlfriend, about your family members, and personal interests, she is ready for a relationship with you.

Enjoys talking to you and laughs at your jokes

When she thinks you are funny, laughs at all your jokes, and loves to talk to you at all times, even when she seems tired, it’s a clue.

She makes references to your romantic relationships

If she says something like; “I think your girlfriend must be lucky”  that’s her subtle way of trying to find out if you have a relationship as she figures out her chances of ever getting into a relationship with you.

You are her go-to person

If she always comes to you for advice, or even discusses personal issues with you, shares her worries, and seeks your opinion on matters important to her, she is giving you a clue.

Ask her if she wants to be in a relationship

This is one of the most definite ways to know if she wants a relationship or is ready for one. And yes, you can ask her, there is no harm in asking, at least you will be sure you are not receiving mixed signals.

How To Ask A Girl If She Wants To Be In A Relationship 

There are many ways to ask her if she wants a relationship, here are some sample questions.

  • Do you think you are ready for a romantic relationship?
  • Are you currently in any relationship?
  • When was the last time you went on a date?
  • Do you want to be in a relationship?
  • Do you have a boyfriend?
  • When was the last time you fell in love?

Things To Do Before Asking A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend

When you have ascertained that she is ready for a relationship. You may be impatient, nervous, anxious, or even afraid when you ponder about the step you are about to take; and how best to ask her to be yours. But, before you take that huge step, here are some things you need to do for yourself.

Take care of your looks at all times

Make sure you always look good and maintain personal hygiene at all times. Always maintain optimal physical appearance regardless of your genetic/physical attributes. Women are also attracted by what they can see, so you need to be sure your looks are always top-notch.

Maintain confidence

Your confidence level should be top-notch at all times. Arrogance is not the same as confidence. Be sure to maintain a confident approach. No slouchy shoulders, no mumbled words. Practice self-confidence at all times.

Befriend her friends

Get to find out who her friends are. Become acquainted with them. Girls usually ease up to a guy who is friendly to their friends, and a guy who her friends like.

Talk with her

Have conversations with her, not just any kind of conversation, but conversations that give you an insight into who she is and how best to get into and stay in her good books.

Impress her

Before you set out to ask her to be your girlfriend, you need to impress her. Do not “fake it” or go on an unnecessary spending spree; but impress her with nice things, your appearance, good behavior, intelligence, ladies love to be impressed. So, when you are having conversations with her, find out the things that impress her and get busy.

Get to know her

Before asking her to be your girlfriend, get to know her first, her likes and dislikes, if you are big on zodiac signs, find out about her zodiac sign, become friends with her, have conversations with her.

Be intentional

Being intentional requires you to be very deliberate in your actions. Let her know you are not just hanging around her, playing games, or messing around. Be honest with yourself as you let her know you are in for something bigger and not just a platonic friendship.

Ask her to go on a date with you

Before asking her to be your girlfriend, you should ask her to go on a date with you first. Take her out on a romantic date night, to a concert, a theatre, for lunch or dinner. Here are some creative ways to ask a girl out on a first date:

  • Play the betting game: This is also a test of your sense of humor and hers. After chatting with her and you are certain she enjoys your company, you can tell her to ask you any question at all, and if you lose, you will take her out on a date as a penalty. If she agrees to that and asks you a question, you can deliberately fail and then take her out on a date as your “punishment”.
  • The magic trick: Are you familiar with any magic tricks? Perform one that ends with a note asking her to go on a date with you.
  • Truth or dare game: Play a little game of truth or dare, then dare her to go on a date with you.

Important Factors To Consider Before Asking A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend

After doing the aforementioned, you need to look out for some factors of importance. Although asking a girl out is not so much of rocket science as it is usually painted, it is also not an automatic switch, and can be likened to a job interview; you may have prepared well enough for it, but you still have to be careful with your every move. Before you finally ask a girl to be your girlfriend, here are some factors you should consider.

  • Age: it is believed that age is just a number, however, you have to check to be sure she is not a minor, especially if you are an adult. Be very careful and verify her age before making a move. An adult should not ask a minor to be his girlfriend.
  • Compatibility: Although, you may never be quite sure of your compatibility level until you are well into the relationship, that is also why you need to take your time and learn about your prospective audience. Do you both have things in common? How well do you know about her? Be sure to figure out how compatible you both are; so that your prospective relationship with her does not die on arrival.
  • Clarity: Be very certain of your feelings. Are you infatuated or in love? Be very sure of your feelings before you ask her out.
  • Handling rejection: “NO” it’s not the end of the world. There is a very good chance that your proposal could be turned down. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best. Rejection does not mean something is wrong with you.
  • Your strategy: You should have a strategy. There is no particular road map to a lady’s heart but a strong and romantic strategy is important and you will be finding out how best to come up with a strategy; like knowing the right time to ask, when or where to ask, or ways to ask in this article.

How Long Should You Wait To Ask A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend

The answer is, not too long. It is advisable not to drag the process, else she may get bored or even get snatched up by a faster person. However, you should take your time but not too much time. Here are tips on how to figure out how long you should wait before asking her out.

When you think you have known her well enough

According to dating experts, it takes two to three months to actually get to know someone. Although it takes a lifetime to really know someone as you can never finish knowing a person, you need to know her much deeper than on a surface level.

Until you are sure you are ready to be in a relationship

When you are very sure you are ready for an exclusive romantic relationship, you can then ask her out. You do not want to play games in a relationship with someone you actually like, so when you are sure you are settled enough to date exclusively, you can go ahead and ask her to be your girlfriend.

When the chemistry is strong

You need to build the chemistry between the both of you, and when it gets to the zenith, you can take advantage of the burning chemistry to ask her out. Are you both continually flirting with each other? are physical contacts getting more frequent? Did you both “accidentally” share a first kiss? Do you both spend longer time on the phone than usual? Can you not go a day without seeing or talking to each other? The chemistry is growing and it could be finally ripe for the big question.

When you are beginning to spend more time with each other

If you find out that you both are beginning to spend longer time together than usual, and her body language is showing you that she likes you and you’re both talking more than when you first met, then maybe it’s finally time.

The feelings have remained constant

It’s been over a month and you still feel the same way you felt about her the first time you saw her. You still can’t stop thinking about her, you are sure of your feelings for her and you are sure you are not infatuated, and that you love her, then you can ask her out.

Is There A Perfect Time To Ask A Girl Out?

You may be wondering if there’s an actual or particular time that’s considered the perfect time to ask her out. Especially after considering all the important factors and doing all the things you need to do before asking her out. Like all things in life, there is a time for everything although you may not know the exact time. But how exactly do you figure out the perfect time that will work in your favor? Here are some ideas.

  • When she is not busy

Don’t bump into her when she is preoccupied with work or study and pop the question, you are setting yourself up for rejection.

  • Be sure she is not in a bad mood

If she is having a rough day or just lost something or someone of importance, do not use that as an avenue to ask her to be your girlfriend. You would be taking advantage of her vulnerability at that point.

  • When she is alone and not preoccupied or distracted

If you are asking her to be your girlfriend in person, make sure she is alone and not with her friends or in the midst of other people as you could be putting her on a spot. If you are asking her to be your girlfriend over the phone or via a text, make sure she is not distracted or preoccupied with work, a house chore, or any other thing.

  • When you have her full attention

Be sure you have her full attention before you pop the question. It could be in the middle of a really nice conversation or on a romantic date or picnic. But make sure you have her full attention.

image source

Ways To Ask A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend

Now that you have her full attention and you know she is ready for a relationship, you can ask her out but how do you do it? Here are some suggestions.

Ask her in person

If you both live, work, or school in the same place, you can ask her to be your girlfriend by doing the following;

Wording suggestions

  • There is nothing that I want more than to be able to proudly say that you are mine, please be my girlfriend.
  • I have given this a lot of thought, and I know that I am sure of the way I feel about you, darling, will you be my girlfriend?
  • There is no one else for me, if it’s not you, be mine, Mary. I am in love with you.
  • We have spent quite some time getting to know each other as friends, I think it is time we knew each other as lovers, can I be your boyfriend?
  • I want to be your boyfriend, say yes, please?
  • Roseline, will you take me as your boyfriend to love and to be with?
  • Someday you will be my wife, but will you be my girlfriend now?

Creative ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend in person

With the suggestions above, there are more creative ways to pop the question. To further blow her mind and increase your chances of getting a yes, here are some creative ways to ask her to be your girlfriend.

  • Bake a cake: Have a cake baked with any of the wording suggestions.
  • Use the snow: Figure out a way to spell it out in the snow, have her close her eyes, and then open them when you are done writing.
  • Beach sand: Take her on a beach date and then ask her to be your girlfriend with the words written on the sand.
  • Music/sound: After a sumptuous romantic dinner, have a pianist or a violinist serenade her, as you say the words.
  • Fortune cookie: Have the words slipped or baked into a fortune cookie, and ask her to open them.
  • Games: Set up a crossword puzzle or a mini treasure hunt and have her unravel your request as she plays along.

Balloons: Write your big question on a note, put it in a balloon, inflate it and have her burst the balloon.

image source

Choose the best places to ask her to be your girlfriend

Make the very best of the opportunity of getting to ask her to be your girlfriend in person. Some of the wording suggestions and creative ways can be applied at interesting locations. Here are some nice location suggestions.

  • At a fancy restaurant
  • In a serene garden
  • At a lovers park
  • On the beach
  • In a secluded car park
  • In your house
  • On a hike
  • Art Gallery
  • Museum
  • At a library

Pros and cons of asking her out in person

Pros: You get to watch her react to your words, you get to hold her hands as you say it, it is more intimate and when you get a yes, the celebratory feelings can be well showcased. Also, asking her to be your girlfriend in person gives her the room to see how serious you are and also acknowledge your efforts.

Cons: If she says no, you may find it difficult hiding your sadness because she is right there with you, and you may have a hard time putting yourself together, plus you may end up feeling more embarrassed, especially if you went all out. Also, if you are a bit of a shy person, you may have a hard time hiding your nervousness.

Over the phone

In this day and time, a lot of things can be digitalized, including asking a girl to be your girlfriend. If you are unable to do it in person, you can do it over the phone. Additionally, before you opt for the over the phone option, you need to have established a certain level of communication with her, especially if you do not live in the same city as she does and you have not been able to establish physical contact or go on a date with her.

However, if you are unable to determine her body language to know if you have the green light to pop the question, especially as you are yet to physically meet with her, here are some additional ways to know if she likes you enough.

If she replies to your texts as soon as you send them, almost always picks your calls or returns them as quickly as possible, enjoys video calling or Face Timing with you, or she sends you memes a lot and enjoys long conversations with you, it is safe for you to go ahead.

Wording suggestions for asking her out over the phone

Here are some nice and endearing sentences or phrases you can use in popping the big question that can convey your emotions. You also need to be as clear as possible and not beat around the bush.

  • I cannot wait any longer because I will not be able to keep this to myself anymore, I really want you to be my girlfriend.
  • If I could walk up to and look you in the eyes and tell you just how much I feel about you, I will. But I want you to consider my request for you to be my girlfriend.
  • Will you be my girlfriend? I have grown to love you a lot.
  • You are the only one for me, Diana please be my girlfriend.
  • I can’t wait to hold your hands and plant you a kiss and thank you for being so amazing. Please say yes and be my girlfriend.
  • You make me so happy and what will make me even happier is if you make me your boyfriend. Will you be my girlfriend?
  • I can’t wait to show you off to the world as my one and only girlfriend, please make this possible and say yes to me.

Channels to ask a girl to be your girlfriend over the phone

The wording suggestions we mentioned above can be sent or conveyed via the following channels;

  • While chatting on any social networking app
  • A text message
  • A video recording
  • An audio recording/voice note
  • A graphic art/design
  • Whilst talking on the phone
  • On a social media post (do this only if you are sure of a yes)

Creative ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend over the phone

Not being able to take her out on a fancy date, or a romantic walk on the beach, or bake her a cake with the big question on it, should not limit your chances of creatively popping the questions. Here are some suggestions that you can use with any of the channels and words aforementioned.

  • Private Link: Create an Instagram account and upload a photo of her with a caption asking her to be your girlfriend. Send her a link to the post and wait for her reply.
  • Recording: Record a video of yourself asking her to be your girlfriend and send it to her. If you can sing or perform poetry and pop the big question with it.
  • Email: Create a collage of all the beautiful places you will love to go with her, include the big question and email it to her.
  • Music: Send her a song that perfectly conveys your feelings, tell her to listen to the song because the words are how you feel about her.
  • Public request: Make a public post on your social media, declaring your feelings for her, and then pop the big question. Send her the link to the post and wait for her reply.
  • Customized: Design a meme or a graphic art with the big question and then send it to her. Additionally, you can create a playlist of love songs, including voice messages of the big question, and send her the QR code to scan and listen.

Pros and Cons

Asking a girl to be your girlfriend over the phone has its advantages and disadvantages, here are some of them.

  • Cons: She may not be able to ascertain how serious you are and may prefer that you tell her in person. Also, your emotions may not be properly conveyed. Additionally, your anxiety levels can be spiked, especially if it is over text and she doesn’t reply to you immediately.
  • Pros: This is great for long-distance. If you do not live in the same city or country as her, and you cannot wait until you meet her in person to ask her to be yours, you can pop the question over the phone using the aforementioned creative suggestions.

Deliver a package

Apart from asking her in person or over the phone, the following are other cute ways to ask the big question.

  • Love letter: A handwritten love note may seem sort of old school, but it is a cute way of asking the big question. Write her a love letter and have it delivered to her.
  • Gift package: Get her a gift package, add some flowers, you can also include a cake baked with the big question and have it delivered to her.
  • Flowers: Send her flowers with a note asking her to be your girlfriend.

Pros and Cons

Pros: Sending her a love note or a gift package can set off anticipation in her, elicit a yes and make her wonder what more surprising things you got up your sleeves. It also saves you some embarrassment in case she says no.

Cons: You will not get the chance to watch her reaction as she receives your package, and you may keep wondering what the first impression your package made. You have to call her or contact her to know if she got the package and also find out her response.

Things And Words You Should Never Do, Say, Or Use

We have mentioned all the ways and things you can say, to enable you to ask the big question properly; however, you have to know the things you should never say or do, as they might lead to rejection.

  • Do not make sexual advances.
  • Never use vulgar words either during a date or while asking the big question.
  • Don’t send a third party, like your friend or sister to help you ask her to be your girlfriend or convey your feelings.
  • Do not make references to her body parts as a reason for wanting her. For example, do not say something like; “I like how curvy you are, please be my girlfriend.” That’s perverted behavior.
  • When you are complimenting her, don’t make it sexual.
  • Even if your ex-girlfriend was the most amazing woman on earth, do not talk about her or make any reference to her.
  • Avoid asking her questions about her past relationships.
  • Avoid pushing her to spend the weekend at your house. It’s an automatic fail.
  • Don’t ask her about her sexual history.
  • If she tells you she has a boyfriend, don’t tell her to make you her side boyfriend.
  • In case of rejection, do not become hostile or unfriendly towards her.
  • Don’t stalk her or pressurize her to accept you.

In Conclusion…

Relationships are dynamic and even if you get a rejection, it does not mean you are not good enough, neither should you give up. Just keep being friends with her. Ultimately, a girl wants who she wants and if you are her choice, you may not need to do too much to convince her to give you a chance.

Princess is a writer and an enlightened being.


Featured Today

Fact Check: We strive for accuracy and fairness, if you've found a possible error, be it factual, editorial or something that needs updating, please contact us

Read This Next