Communication is very essential in any type of relationship. No relationship can thrive without effective and active communication. But what can you do when you are tongue-tied or can’t seem to come up with innovative and interesting things to talk about? What if you have exhausted most of your topics and now you can’t seem to know what else to bring up? Sometimes holding a conversation can be a lot harder than it seems, especially when you are trying to make sure you don’t keep repeating topics or you just met a new person and you are making sure you don’t come off as clueless. When it comes to matters of the heart especially when it concerns a lover or someone you are crushing on, most people are constantly conscious of the kind of things they say or talk about. We have taken it upon ourselves to provide you with a list of what to talk about with your crush or a person you are in a relationship with; so you can confidently kick off conversations.
There are a lot of things to talk about in this world. However, you need to be sure you don’t come up with a topic or start a conversation that will not augur well with your crush or lover, most especially with your crush. We will start with a quick guide.
A quick guide on how to choose what to talk about with your crush
According to Urban Dictionary, a crush is “a burning desire to be with someone you find very attractive and extremely special.” Also referred to as “Puppy love”, it is usually seen as a brief temporary feeling; however, it can go a lot deeper than just a temporary feeling especially when it is a romantic crush; a lot of people have gotten married to their crush.
The “crushing” stage is very delicate as the “crusher” is trying hard to impress and stay in the good Graces of the “Crushee”. If you are crushing on someone, you most certainly want to retain a good impression on your crush and one of such ways is making sure your crush is not ticked off by you.
To retain your crush’s interest, one of the best ways is to form and maintain meaningful and exciting communication with your crush; and that includes making sure you know the right things to say or the right topics to bring up. This is a quick guide on how to choose your discussion topics.
- Keep it Natural: Although you are nervous, you need to take a deep breath and be as natural with the conversation as possible. For example, you can start by commenting on the weather.
- Go with the flow: Let the discussion flow, do not try to gear it off track to impress your crush. For example, if the conversation about weather turns into a cheerful debate on Global warming, do not try to bring it back to a new car you just bought.
- Listen more and interrupt less: Let your crush do the talking if they are keener on the topic. Don’t try to interrupt, listen more; you could get better ideas on topics to bring up.
- Do not claim to have deep knowledge of a topic you are not sure about: Try not to over impress. If you know nothing about cars, don’t dabble in in-depth discussion about automobiles.
- Be honest and true to yourself: This needs no introduction, do not paint a picture of who or what you are not. You can say; “I don’t know what topics you like or what to talk about.” That can be a great conversation starter.
- Ask questions and be open to questions: Whatever you are unsure of, ask, do not assume. If you are stuck, simply ask your crush, “what will you like us to talk about? Or what will you like to talk about.” Do not assume what they will like to talk about and be open to answering questions too. Remember, a lot of your conversation will be based on questions and answers, so be ready.
- Do not make sexual comments: This is an automatic red flag. Be careful not to sound sexual even in your compliments.
- Avoid Health-related and Religious topics: Except your crush declares an interest in talking about it and you are also comfortable discussing it with your crush/lover; avoid topics on religion, personal health, and by extension politics.
- Don’t ask About what they do for a living: This is the first step to creating a permanent suspicion. Nobody likes being asked what they do for a living.
Things to talk about with your crush
Now that you have gone through the guide on how to choose a topic on what to talk about with your crush; let us explore various topics or things you can talk about.
If you both are in a school/work/commercial environment; you can kickstart a conversation based on the current situation. You can start with a statement like; I am just wondering how much longer we have to wait for the teaching assistant, do you think he/she will show up today? or let’s say you both are on transit, you can ask; “This flight/bus/train is causing a delay, how do you feel about this?
A Trending Topic
Trending topics or viral videos make very good conversation starters. They also make things easy for you. They are like a two for the price of one Bargain; you get to start a conversation easily as well as get an insight into the opinions of your crush. For example, there are lots of viral challenges both on Tiktok, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and others. You can easily ask your crush to tell you who they think is the winner of the latest viral challenge.
Dreams And Aspirations
Everyone has something they dream about or aspire to be. But you have to be careful when bringing up this topic so you don’t sound too formal. You can start by mentioning your dreams and aspirations as a template and then watch the conversation flow from there. For example, you can start by saying; I have a huge interest in the media and I dream of owning my streaming platform, can I share some of my ideas with you? You seem like you know a thing or two about my line of interest.
Favorite Travel Destinations
Discussing favorite travel destinations with your crush is also a great topic to explore. You get to see the world from your Crush’s perspective and maybe get ideas on places to travel for “baecations” if you both finally become an item. You can make plans on how to surprise them with plane tickets just from this conversation.
This is an easy-breezy topic. Only very few people in the world do not watch movies or listen to music. This topic is laid back as well as eye-opening. You don’t have to do too much talking about this topic.
How they like to spend their free time
Allow your crush to let you into their favorite past times. Remember this is not a one-sided conversation, so you should be ready to talk about your favorite past times too. You can start with a question like; Would you rather stay indoors and cozy up on the weekends or splurge on a shopping spree?
If you are hanging out at a nice restaurant for fine dining or a dessert shop, food is a comfortable topic to explore. You get to tickle taste buds as well as satisfy cravings as you learn about your crush’s favorite dish or victuals; just invade you want to plan a surprise lunch basket delivered to them.
If you are looking to become romantically involved or become a couple with your crush, this topic is very relevant, so you know what you are up against. If your crush is in a committed relationship or not, or if they are currently single and available. The earlier you get this topic out of the way the better for you both. A simple and straight to the point; “are you in any romantic relationship?” Is a good way to start and it sure sounds better than the old fashion; “do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?”
There are so many conspiracy theories available both on and off the internet and they are great topics to explore. You can start with the famous; “911 is an inside job” or the most recent “Coronavirus vaccine is a Magnet.” And if either you or your crush identify as “sapiosexual”, this is going to be a great discussion.
In as much as political topics are dicey and tricky especially when discussing them with your crush; it is also of great importance to find out where either of you stands on human and civil rights issues. You can talk about your opinions on a trending protest or any protest that made headlines. Try not to sound too formal about, rather a little bit of humor will make the topic a lot more relaxing.
History is an account of the past, and it is practically inexhaustible. You can choose to discuss the history of any country for each time you run into/hang out with your crush and it will not be boring. Talk about the medieval era, bubonic plague, middle passage, transatlantic slave trade etc. This is a great topic.
This is a great topic for nerds or book lovers. If you happen to meet with your crush in a library or a book club; talking about famous books like the Shakespearean collection of plays, the novels of James Hadley Chase, the Harry Potter series, and a host of other books; can create a satisfying conversation.
From the Covid 19 pandemic and its impact to the latest happenings in the news, you can draw up topics of current affairs or headlines in the news. Did you hear of the latest discovery on Fox News? What are your thoughts on it? Is a great way to start the conversation.
Did Apple just release a new iPhone? Or MacBook? Are there the latest updates to hoverboards? Or was an entirely new gadget just launched that is making waves? If your crush is a tech enthusiast, a conversation on the latest gadgets will pique their interest.
Interesting Questions you can ask your crush
Here are also some fun and interesting questions to ask your crush, that can be great conversation starters.
What is your favorite Smell?
Do you think vampires exist?
Do you think you will survive a zombie apocalypse?
If you had a time machine, what time will you travel to?
What are survival skills?
What to talk about on a First Date
First dates are usually the “decision-makers” in relationships. Things may either go smoothly or awry. To avoid ruining your plans and also awkward silences which can be normal sometimes, here are some things to talk about with your crush, a prospective lover, or even a friend on a first date.
Likes and Dislikes
This is an important topic. Everyone has boundaries and one way to figure them out is to find out about likes and dislikes. It is ideal to know the likes or dislikes of your date on a first date, it can set the tone for other subsequent dates you both may be having. Questions like; What ticks you off? What’s your favorite drink? How do you handle disappointment? may suffice.
Childhood dreams and fantasies
Everyone has something they dreamt of or fantasized about as a child. Talking about your childhood dreams and fantasies bring about a nostalgic feeling that you both can bank on, on your first date. Knowing what your date wanted to be as a child and what changed over the years, is a good conversation to engage in.
It will be nice to discuss temperaments on the first date. Figuring out your traits and how you navigate the world or how you react to things is also important. Questions like; what easily irritates you? On a scale of 1-10, how easily do you get offended? can help kickstart a conversation on temperaments.
Everyone has a bucket list of things they will love to do. Talk about your bucket list as well as find out your date’s bucket lists and see what fun things you both have in common. What are the things you will love to do before you turn seventy? Is a good bucket list conversation starter.
Explore topics bordering on family, relatives, family trees, family history, and family ideals. Most people love to talk about family, and the discussion could give you an insight into the kind of family they will like to build. “Tell me the most interesting thing about your family” is a good way to start.
We all have habits that we know can be annoying. From picking nose to leaving dirty dishes in the sink. Talking about your habits which you deem annoying is also a great first date topic.
Did you know that Aquaman’s city is based on the myth of the city of Atlantis? This question is a great way to open up a conversation on the various myths and mythologies in the world; which are an absolutely interesting topic to explore on a first date.
The first thing people notice
Find out about how self-conscious your date is by asking them the first thing they think people notice about them. You may be surprised at their answer. Also, get ready to get the same question thrown at you.
Where they consider as “home”
Home means different things to different people. Talking about where you/they consider as a home is a comfortable topic that will elicit fond memories and tenderness.
Everyone has got something they consider as their biggest fear. Except some vulnerability in this conversation, however.
The first date is an ideal time to discuss deal breakers so you both know what you are getting into. Everyone has what they consider as deal breakers and if you plan on going a step further after the first date, discussing deal breakers will go a long way.
This can turn out to be a very hilarious topic, especially if you both talk extensively about guilty pleasures. Finding out that one of your date’s guilty pleasures is calling in sick to work every month even when they are not sick can be hilarious.
Talk about hidden talents. They are a great way to find out not-so-public things about each other. Most people have hidden talents that are hitherto unknown. Maybe the discussion will unravel more.
You can either start the date or end the date by admitting how nervous and anxious you are/were about your first date. Acknowledging your subtle fears and the hits and misses can calm the atmosphere and cement the whole outing.
Interesting Questions you can ask on your first date
You can also ask some interesting or funny first date questions that can help reduce long awkward silences.
What is your Zodiac sign
On a scale of 1-10, how good are your detective skills?
Game of thrones or Prison break?
How long do you think you can survive alone in the desert?
Board games or video games?
What to talk about with a Girlfriend
To keep a relationship healthy, you need to communicate often and have healthy conversations. Here are great ideas of things to talk about with your girlfriend.
Number of kids
Talking about the number of kids your girlfriend will like to have in the future is something she will love. Most ladies don’t mind discussing kids with the man they are in a relationship with. You can make the discussion more endearing by personalizing the questions. For example; how many children will you like us to have when we get married?
Talking about your girlfriend’s goals both individual goals and shared goals as a couple is very important. It’s not a one-time topic, it should be revisited as often as possible to align properly. Questions like; What do you think will improve about you/us in the next year? Is a good conversation starter.
You have to keep talking about your relationship and love life with your girlfriend, as talking about your relationship as a couple will help improve your relationship as a whole. Healthy improvements and important observations are bound to be made when you talk about your relationship with your girlfriend.
As the man in her life, you need to talk about the feelings of your lady as often as you can. Try to find out details of what or how she feels about certain things you do. Sometimes you may not notice that she likes or dislikes some things in the relationship or some things you do, one way to find out is by asking a question like; How do you feel about my staying out late with friends? Or do you enjoy it when I tell people about how we met?
Although we previously mentioned avoiding religious topics, however when you are in a relationship with a person, you need to know their spiritual beliefs and their stands on spirituality. A simple “what do you think about the concept of heaven and hell?” Can set the tempo.
Most memorable moments together
Reliving memorable moments are a great way to keep the fire burning in your relationship. Fan the embers of your love life by having your girlfriend recount her most memorable moments with you. You may get better ideas on what more to do for subsequent memorable moments.
Do not forget to discuss your feelings with your girlfriend. Let her know how you feel about her and your relationship with her. Be open with your feelings and do not hide them; so you can maintain a healthy relationship. You can remind her or tell her how you feel about a particular thing she said or did.
Activities of the Day
Conversations without talking about your day-to-day activities or things you both did during the day are not normal. Have your girlfriend tell you how her day went, what she has been up to, the latest gossip of the day, as you also share how your day went with too her.
Growth is inevitable. Talk about the mental, emotional, and psychological growth of both you and your girlfriend. Questions like; what do you think has improved about you from a year ago? What lessons have you learned recently? How will you describe yourself in comparison to years ago? What does growth mean to you?
Plan towards your next trip, date night, picnic, and various other romantic couple activity. Give yourselves something to look forward to.
Talk about her career path and yours too. Discuss her plans, both Plan A and Plan B. Her accomplishments, proud moments, to-do list, opportunities, and everything related to career accomplishments. Do not forget to offer encouragement and share ideas.
Sex talk is very important. Discuss intimacy with your girlfriend and let her let you know what she likes and what she loves and desires. If you both are celibate/practicing abstinence, you can still discuss intimacy and how you uphold your decisions. Do you like threesomes? Should we get a sex toy? What will you like us to try out when we finally end our celibacy?
Health and wellness
Health is wealth, discuss health issues with your girlfriend. Both hers and yours. Her monthly cycle, stress levels, workout ideas, and routine; all makeup part of the conversation on health and wellness. You both can talk about your body and fitness goals.
Talk about your girl’s favorite fashion items or the latest outfit she likes. You may get a gift idea from the conversation. Every girl has her fashionable side and she will readily talk about her fashion interests with you. You can ask her what she thinks about the latest Icy park collection or Fenty lingerie.
Interesting Questions you can ask your girlfriend
Communication is very key in any relationship most especially in a romantic relationship. Here are few funny and interesting questions you can ask your girlfriend.
When was the last time you dreamt of me?
Do you think I’ll make a good husband?
What is your favorite thing about me?
What do you frequently think about?
Do you have an obsession?
What to talk about with a Boyfriend
Wondering what to talk about with your boyfriend? Here are some ideas on important things to talk about.
Talk about your boyfriend’s plans for the future. Discuss the relationship’s prospects, where the relationship is headed, what will become of the relationship in five years? Is it heading towards marriage? Do not feel pressured and also be careful not to make him feel like you are putting pressure on him. Explore the various directions the relationship may be heading to.
Names of kids
Since you are discussing the future of the relationship, you might as well talk about prospective names for your children with him. Explore various baby names and their meanings, as well as unraveling the kind of names your children can have. You can also ask if he will like any of his children to be named after a family member or a public figure.
Money and financial responsibility is a very important topic. As part of the relevant topics to discuss, talk about bills, savings plans, retirement options, financial burdens, and responsibility. Explore his beliefs on finances in a relationship, if he believes in being a sole provider or splitting of bills.
It can be therapeutic to talk about childhood experiences, including childhood traumas, nostalgic experiences, fantasies, and dreams. You can learn a lot about your boyfriend from his childhood experiences. You can even ask questions like; if you could change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?
Favorite moments together
Talking about favorite moments brews fondness and elicits beautiful memories. You can ask your boyfriend to narrate his favorite moments with you, while you learn about more ways to spice up your relationship.
A man’s Work is very important to him. Allow your boyfriend to tell you all about his work, ideas, vision, and prospects. If you know of a project he is working on, talk to him about it, come up with ideas you think can help him, ask him how it is going, and allow him to tell you all about it whilst you chip in words of encouragement.
A lot of people have fetishes. Most men do but sometimes are anxious about discussing it with their lady. You can take the reins by asking him what his sexual fetishes are and talk about how you both can explore them.
A Roman relationship should add to a person’s self-improvement. Talking about self-improvement with your boyfriend can open doors to several ways to improve yourself both individually and in a relationship. Vital questions like; how do you think we can handle situations with less conflict? Do you fancy couple therapy? What do you think is missing in this relationship? What do you think are our toxic traits? This is a sincere and open conversation and should be navigated as such.
This is a relevant topic. Do not shy away from talks or topics on intimacy even if, as we mentioned earlier, you both are celibate or abstaining from sex. But, if you both share an active sex life, then intimacy should be a regular topic. Explore your fantasies, likes, dislikes, adventure, improvements, and their health implications.
Although this may be a touchy topic, like lovers in a relationship, you both should be able to talk about past mistakes and regrets especially those that have affected the wellbeing of the relationship. What do you think we/you should have done better? How do we/you prevent future occurrences? are comfortable conversations on the topic of past mistakes.
Conversations are meant to be as natural as possible and let things flow. We all have thoughts in our heads at every point in time, so explore any random topic that comes to your mind and see where the conversation leads to. Do not shy away from healthy debates.
What excites him
Spice up conversations and explore adventurous aspects of your boyfriend. Find out what excites him and talk about ways to make the relationship more exciting for him. Find out the crazy things on his bucket list and you may just find mutually exciting activities.
All the things you are talking about all fall under the relationship as a whole. Evaluate your relationship, how far you both have come, the plans for the future, mistakes, lessons, and victories. Find out if the relationship is healthy or if he thinks it’s a burden or toxic and ways to make things better.
His First Impression of You
Conversations on the first time you met, the first date, and his first impression of you are valuable to the growth of the relationship. It also brings back nostalgia and can help mend broken fences and build collapsed bridges in your relationship. You can ask him if he thinks his first impression of you is still correct.
Interesting Questions you can ask your Boyfriend
Asking your boyfriend questions should come naturally to you 😉 but here are a few more interesting questions you can ask your boyfriend.
What is your favorite memory of us?
Which part of my body attracts you to me?
What happens if I get pregnant?
If you are to reincarnate as a lion or a woman, which will you choose?
What’s the greatest risk you ever took?