Can People With Asperger’s Fall in Love, What Does It Feel Like To Have One?

Every single person on this planet has an intense desire to be loved. It is one of the most fundamental and basic needs of all human beings. But despite the basicness of this need, loving another person and being involved in a romantic relationship is not the easiest journey to embark on. Falling in love appears to be the easy part as the main challenge comes when there is a need to make the love work and last, something that is a huge challenge for everyone, both for males and females and whether or not you suffer from Asperger’s Syndrome or are a neurotypical (non-autistic or allistic person).

To this effect, there is very little useful education available on how to make this happen. It is said that a huge deal of whatever it is we think we know about love comes from what we see and learn from the relationships around us, like that of our parents or what we have seen on television; from movies and reports on tabloids about our favorite celebrities, or social media posts.

So while the ability to fall in love and make it work may be hard for every human, the odds appear to be more against people with Asperger’s due to the developmental disorders that they have. Here is a look at whether or not people with Asperger’s, known as Aspies, can fall in love and how they can manage to satisfy the emotional needs of their partner when they themselves are usually not aware of what other people think or feel.

What Is Asperger Syndrome?

Asperger syndrome is a milder form of autism that is characterized by qualitative impairment in social interaction and nonverbal communication. Some patients could also have restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests, however, there is no significant delay in cognitive development or general delay in language. That is to say that they do not have the learning disabilities that many autistic people have, but they may have specific learning difficulties.

Since 2013, following the release of the newest edition of the taxonomic and diagnostic tool published by the American Psychiatric Association that mental health experts around the world use, called The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), the classification of Asperger’s changed as it was no longer technically a diagnosis on its own. It has since become part of a broader category called autism spectrum disorder (ASD), however, a milder and high-functioning type. This means that the symptoms are less severe than other kinds of autism spectrum disorders even though it shares these symptoms with other mental health issues in the group.

The exact cause of Asperger’s is unknown. While it is widely thought that the disease is partially inherited, the underlying genetics have not yet been identified. There is also a wider school of thought that believe environmental factors play a role. To treat this disease, doctors aim to improve poor communication skills, obsessive or repetitive routines, and physical clumsiness through social skills training, cognitive behavioral therapy, physical and speech therapy, and medications in the presence of issues like depression and anxiety. Most children improve as they grow up, but social and communication difficulties usually persist, thereby prompting the question marks over their ability to fall in love.

Read Also: 10 Famous People You Didn’t Know Are Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual

Can People With Asperger’s Fall in Love?

Yes, people with Asperger’s do love and have been known to have embarked on romantic relationships that led to long-lasting marriages. As is usual with all human beings, people tend to unconsciously choose partners who have the qualities that they lack. With this, Aspies usually find themselves getting attracted to people who can handle the social world for them, a strong and compassionate neurotypical.

But with Aspies focused on their own interests and lacking the ability to care for their partners as another neurotypical might normally do, problems, a common factor in all marriages, tend to come up.

When someone has a partner with Asperger’s, he or she may be in need of certain romantic gestures that may never come due to the fact that an Aspie lacks the ability to interpret both verbal and non-verbal language and are unable to reciprocate feelings as they are even further often unaware of what others think or feel.

It is just always important for the partner of an Aspie to not take their actions to heart. Rather, they should help their partner create their own rules of engagement in order to act in ways that really matter to you. A sign that an Aspie really cares about you should be the fact that they learn and try to make an effort to make gestures that you insist on.

Chux Dezman
Chux Dezman
Chux has been writing and editing for several major websites and publications for over 16 years, when he is not crossing the T’s and dotting the I’s, you might catch him at home watching his favourite TV shows


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