Dating get to know you questions are basic Q&A questions that can help one get to know the person they are dating better. While dating someone can be very exciting, the process can also get very boring very quickly if you are not able to connect well and get to know them on a deeper level on the first date.
For this reason, we have come up with these dating get-to-know-you questions you can pick from whenever you are in a conversation with the person you are dating. They will help you understand what kind of person your date is and give you an idea of what their take on life is.
Beyond all of the above also, these questions can also help you decide if you want to continue to date this person. This is especially because some of these questions can help you uncover a person’s deeper ambitions and intentions without being too obvious.
Basic Dating Get to Know You Questions For a First Meet
1. How was your day?
While this seems like one of the most common dating get-to-know-you questions to ask, it is actually not everyone you go on date with that remembers to ask how your day went before you came out to see them. For this reason, how was your day would be the best question to kick off a date with because it is an excellent conversation starter. It is not a personal question and as such, anyone can answer it honestly. For a person who knows how to converse broadly, this question is a simple invitation for a deeper talk.
2. Are you active on social media?
In a generation such as ours, while meeting up to talk and converse is still very much practiced, social media chats have become some of the very well-accepted ways of checking up on people. This question is also very important because a person’s social media page can tell you a whole lot about the things they value and the kind of life they live. Bear in mind that even employers now check a person’s social media feed to better assess their state of mind.
3. What do you do for a living?
Yes, you heard right. This is definitely something you need to know from the onset. What your date does for a living is basically who they are. It helps you determine whether you want to be with someone who runs in that specific circle or who does what he/she does for a living. If you feel awkward about asking what your date does for a living, just start by telling them what you do.
4. Would you rather have tea or coffee?
The choice of taking tea or coffee can actually tell you a lot about a person’s personality. Yes, they are both beverages that can increase your energy levels but if you are the kind of person that would rather have the same preferences as the person you are dating, this is definitely a question you should ask. Beyond the preferences, however, asking the question can serve as an ice breaker at the beginning of a conversation, especially on a first date.
5. Do you have a nickname?
Using a person’s nickname is the first sign that you are on the best of friends basis. For this reason, asking the person you are dating whether they have a nickname will certainly help you get to know them better. Also, you can take it further by asking how they got the nickname and whether they would have it be any other thing.
6. Who is your best person in the whole world?
It is easy to assume that the answer to this question should be you, but that may not often be the case. Finding out who their favorite person in the whole world is will help you know them better. If their favorite person is not you, try asking why this person is their favorite and the role this person played in molding them into who they are.
7. What is the one vacation spot you would never pass on?
The places a person goes to unwind can tell you all about their personality types and the kinds of things that they like. Knowing your date’s best vacation spot is the ammunition you will need in your arsenal in the long run.
8. What is the best gift anyone has ever given to you?
This is the one question that helps you best decipher whether your date’s love language is receiving gifts. Ask them what the best gift they have received is and why they loved this. Carefully listen to know if it’s the gift they loved, the person who gave them the gift, or the thought behind it that counts most for them.
9. If you had a bucket list, what would be the first thing on it?
Contrary to popular opinion, a bucket list is not only for people who are dying. However, not everyone has a bucket list because some people think of it as a rather depressing idea. So ask your date if they have one. If they do, find out what the fiŕst item on it is. If it is something you can help them achieve, go right ahead and do it.
10. What flavour of ice cream is your absolute favorite?
There are over a thousand and one flavors of ice cream out there but everyone has that one specific flavor that they prefer above all of the others. When you find out the flavor your date prefers, also take it further by asking when they prefer to have ice cream. Their choices might go range from single flavors to complicated mixtures
11. Which do you prefer, cats or dogs?
Cat people are very different from dog people for obvious reasons. While cat people are considered mostly introverts, dog people are often more boisterous and outgoing. What the answer to this question is will help you understand how your date will relate to you. Also, it would help you know what kind of pet to gift them While at it, also find out if they have any allergies to the pets they don’t like.
12. What scares you the most in life?
This is a tricky one because people are not often comfortable sharing their fears. However, you can broach the subject at a very comfortable and relaxed time to help your date open up to you. While knowing a person’s deepest fears will help you know them better, be careful not to judge them or take their fears for granted. Do your best to calm these fears and help them get over them.
13. Would you rather have beer or wine?
The choice between wine and beer would tell you how much of a sophisticated palette your special person has. This question is also important because it will help you know how to plan for date nights. Someone who prefers beer over wine might likely take a fun night out over a fancy dinner where wine is served. Whatever their choice is should not make any difference though.
14. What is your favorite thing to do on weekends?
Considering how busy people can be these days, the weekend is special for most people because it’s the only time they get to spend however they wish. Finding out what your loved one loves to do on their time off work will definitely help you understand them better. You can find this out by asking what they did last weekend.
15. What was your dream job as a child?
Most people grow up and find that they are on à career path totally different from what they wanted as children. Let’s face it, being a princess will not pay the bills. Only a few people end up following their childhood dreams. Find out what category your date belongs to. The aim here is to see how far they strayed from their childhood dreams.
Questions to Ask Someone you are Getting to Know
16. What was the last book you read?
Seeing as the reading culture is slowly dying, dating a person who reads books can be fun in a lot of ways. If you are a good reader yourself, asking about the last book your date read is the opener you need for deeper conversations. You can spend hours discussing the books you have both read and the ones you hope to read together in the future.
17. Can you Swim?
Swimming is a skill that almost everyone has these days. However, there are still those who would not go near a body of water for any reason. Finding out if your love interest can swim might be life-saving knowledge or it can help you plan your next outdoor activity, depending on what their answer is.
18. What kind of music are you into?
A person’s choice of music can tell you a whole lot about them. Besides how certain music makes us feel, it could go as far as telling you whether a person is emphatic, systematic, loud, kind, or just mean. Finding this out will certainly help you relate better with them.
19. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
Nearly everyone has had that one crazy moment when you wish you had a superpower to either help you achieve something faster or get back at someone. Ask your date if they have ever had such a moment and the superpower they wished for. Then probe further for details of why they chose that specific superpower as opposed to others.
20. What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?
Spontaneity can make a whole world of difference in a relationship. If the person you are trying to get to know is prone to being spontaneous, that is definitely something you need to know especially if you are the kind of person who dislikes surprises. So rather than asking if they are spontaneous, ask what the most spontaneous thing they have done is and just listen for how crazy it can get.
21. Which is your favorite room in your house?
Home is home, but most often, people tend to still have favorite rooms or places in their home. It could be their bedroom, the library, a closet, or even the garden. Find out what your date’s favorite room is in their home and why they prefer this room to all of the others. This will help you picture them and what they are doing at home when you are not together.
22. Who inspires you the most?
The answer to this question can be as broad as a parent, a sibling, a mentor, a boss, a colleague, an icon, or even a celebrity. Let them tell you the story behind why this person inspires them. This will help you understand what they place value on and what direction their life is going in. Because this is a very deep question, remember to choose the time and place where you ask this question wisely. You do not want interruptions to the story that might come with it.
23. Would you ever be open to volunteer work?
Doing volunteer work is just the same as helping a person in need. If your loved one is open to volunteer work despite the fact that they will not be paid for it, that should tell you a lot about their value system. A person who will not hesitate to help someone in need is definitely worth getting to know. Also, find out the specific places they volunteer at and why this specific one is close to their heart.
24. Have you ever been engaged in a fistfight?
As low as it sounds, there is a possibility that your date has had an experience or two with fistfights in the past. This is definitely something you would want to know. But besides the fact that they were involved in a fistfight, focus on what led to it and how it was resolved. Most importantly, find out how they feel about what happened and whether they would have handled the situation differently if given the chance to go back.
25. What can instantly turn you off about a person?
Everyone has a turn on and a turn off. It could be a physical attribute, a character trait, or even a person’s style. Find out what your partner’s turn-off is. This will help you stay on track so you don’t repel the person you wish to stay attracted to. You can equally find out if there is a story behind why such things turn them off.
26. Which is your all-time favorite movie?
Movie lover or not, everyone has that one favorite movie that they can watch over and over and over without getting tired of it. For a lot of romantics for a long time, it was the Notebook. Start from what genre of movie they prefer and then ask what their all-time favorite movie is. You can replay this for a date night or whenever you want to Netflix and chill.
27. Have you ever been obsessed with a thing or a person?
Obsession is not always all the way bad. First, find out what your date thinks about obsession and then ask if they have ever been obsessed with something or someone. Point out that it does not have to be an extreme case of obsession like what we see in movies, it could also be an obsession with seeing something happen or seeing someone get to a better place. Either way, create an atmosphere of complete trust before you ask this question.
28. Do you have a pet?
They say people who have pets are nice and friendly whereas people who don’t have pets are not so easy to relate to. This is because animals are generally better judges of character than most people. Knowing whether your date has a pet will definitely give you a better idea of their personality.
29. Are you an indoor or outdoor person?
Indoor and outdoor people have totally different personalities. While indoor people are quiet and often introverted, outdoor people are loud and extroverted. It is said that a combination of the opposites works best in this scenario but you will also find that it’s rather interesting to have your partner love the exact same things you are interested in. You will need this knowledge in your arsenal to know your partner better.
30. Are you a morning person?
Morning people are generally cheerful in the morning, they are not grumpy and they do not mind waking up early. Before you ask this question, however, try finding out if you are a morning person yourself. It would have been easier to decipher if you have woken up together but if not, then go right ahead and ask. This way, if your partner is the opposite of what you are, you’ll know how to blend with their personality.
Questions to Ask to get to Know Someone Romantically
31. What would your ideal vacation look like?
This is one of the compulsory dating get-to-know-you questions. Give your partner a detailed description of what your ideal vacation plan would be like. Then give them an opportunity to describe theirs. Probe deeper to know why some of the specific things they mentioned are a part of the plan and whether they can trade any part of the plan. Make a mental note to recreate what they described as their ideal vacation in the future.
32. What is the worst advice you have ever given someone?
To ask this question without sounding judgemental or rude, you will need to find the perfect fun and humorous time. You can start by sharing an experience of when you gave someone bad advice and how it turned out. Then let your partner share theirs. Closely watch for how they felt about the bad advice they gave, that is the clue you need to know them better.
33. What is your go-to comfort food?
Everyone has a go-to comfort food. For most people, it is ice cream but you will be surprised at some of the things people turn to for comfort. The essence of asking this question is to know the best way to comfort your partner when they need it. Have a pack of their comfort food delivered to them when you are not there in person. It’s surprising but sometimes, comfort foods work better magic than hugs and kisses.
34. Are you a Techie?
The world is recently all about tech stuff and like it or not, nerds have become a whole lot more desirable. Naturally, techies love to mouth off so they are often flattered to be talking to people who are not so taken with tech stuff. If your partner is a techie, you would definitely want to know as it will set the tone for a lot of your conversations in the future.
35. Can you sing?
Singing offkey in the shower does not count here. Find out what your partner thinks about whether they can sing or not. Then ask them to give you a demonstration to help you decide if you are right. Consider asking them to sing your favorite song to you. While it will help you decide if they know how to sing, it will also be cool to have your love interest serenade you.
36. Do you enjoy cooking?
Knowing how to cook is a far cry from actually enjoying the endeavor. While many people know how to cook, an even lesser number actually enjoy the process. Knowing whether your partner enjoys cooking will tell you whether to plan more time at home against often dining out.
37. How do you work out?
Begin with complements regarding how good they look and then ask how they manage to look so good. Follow up with specific questions regarding how often they workout, where, and whether they would mind you joining them on one such workout session. Exercising together can be fun and eye-opening too especially when you get to see your partner in their most relaxed form.
38. Would you rather have a night out or stay in?
This is very important. If your partner would rather stay in to Netflix and chill as opposed to hitting the club or going to the cinema, you absolutely should know. Whatever their answer is, find out what the choice activity would be either way. However, have it in mind that if they prefer to Netflix and chill, they might literally mean just Netflix, chill, and nothing more. Do not read any meaning into it.
39. What is your love language?
The five love languages are; Words of affirmation, physical touch, random acts of kindness, receiving of gifts, and quality time. Psychologists say everyone has one or more out of these five that works for them. Find out what your partner’s love language is from the onset but bear in mind that it might not be just one out of the five. Some people work with as many as three. Whatever their answer is use it to your advantage to strengthen the bond between you.
40. What holiday do you care for the most?
Everyone has a favorite holiday that they go crazy and out for. It could be the 4th of July, thanksgiving, easter, Christmas, or even a personal family holiday/tradition. If you are able to get this info, you will be better prepared to understand their excitement when the day does come around. Take things further by asking why this holiday means that much to them. The story behind it will certainly be an interesting one.
41. Do you sing in the shower?
Everyone sings in the shower, well maybe not everyone, but a lot of people do. They say that’s how you know a person’s real voice and how happy they are. While asking your partner if they sing in the shower is a very innocent question, be wary of asking too early in the relationship. This is especially because you don’t want the person you are attracted to think you are a pervert. Pace yourself and find the right time for this particular one.
42. What piece of clothing can you absolutely not do without?
It could be a scarf, a polo, or even a sock, find out what your partner’s go-to clothing item is. This often doubles as what they wear in their most comfortable times either out or at home. you could also decipher this by carefully observing how they dress every time you see them. This knowledge is bound to come in handy someday, especially when you run out of gift ideas.
43. What was your childhood like growing up?
The kind of childhood a person has largely determines the kind of people they often turn out to be. Besides knowing them better, knowing the kind of childhood a person had will help you understand some of their actions and behavior pattern. However, bear in mind that this may not apply to everyone because some people may go through certain things that changed them as adults.
44. What religious beliefs do you absolutely swear by?
If your date is religious, it would definitely affect the way they relate to you. After finding out what religion they practice, probe deeper to know if their beliefs have ever affected their past relationships. This will also help you know what they swear by. Listen carefully here to ensure they are not fanatics but also to be sure that you can live with whatever their beliefs are. This would require you to be good at the separation of church and state.
45. What car would you give anything to drive?
Start by finding out if your date loves cars and the kind of cars they love. If they are really enthusiastic about cars, you’ll see how they light up while talking about it. Then work it down their dream car and the car they would give anything to drive even if they can’t own it. you can also expand this to cover what their first car was and why they chose to go for the current car they have.
46. Are you into politics?
That’s right. You definitely need to know what their political opinions are. Let’s face it, some couples have called it quits because they can’t seem to agree on who to vote for during elections. While this seems like a minor reason to disagree, it’s better to find out from the onset what they think and how far they are willing to go for their political beliefs.
47. What are your thoughts on reality tv shows?
They say people who watch reality tv shows are likely to end up jobless. Others swear that they learn a lot of life lessons from watching reality tv shows. Find out what your partner’s thoughts are on them and then find out the specific ones they watch and what they learn from them. Take it further by asking if they would feature in a reality tv show if they had the opportunity.
48. Are you scared of heights or flying?
Fear of heights and flying might be related but they are two very different things. If you are the adventurous type, chances are that you would often want to take your partner along. Before you do get to that level, find out what their thoughts are about heights and whether they are open to taking leisurely flights or climbing high mountains with you.
49. Which are you better at, talking or listening?
Talking is good but listening they say is even better. You may not need to ask before you know, but if you are still not sure where your partner stands, try asking whether they would rather do a lot of asking or just be quiet and listen to you talk. This will help you better decode their reactions to some of the things you say or do.
50. Does age matter to you?
This is one of the very important dating get-to-know-you questions you must absolutely prioritize. They say age is just a number, but it can set the tone for a lot of things in your relationship. Find out from the onset what your partner thinks about the age difference between you two especially if it is significant. You wouldn’t want to find out much later that your partner would rather than someone they are in the same age bracket with.